But… Don’t Say It!
“Buts” are everywhere… in our daily language. Rarely are they helpful. Read this article to take a good look at the buts in your speech.
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The basics
Understanding Why We Do What We Do
@CUDenverOmbuds Melissa Connell discusses a fresh tool for knowing why we do what we do in conflict. By understanding our own tendencies and those of others, we can create a safe foundation for addressing conflict and moving towards management and resolution.
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The Magic of Professionalism, Courtesy & Collaboration
@CUDenverOmbuds Melissa Connell shares a personal experience and the skills that can help any workplace in this #Ombuzz blog post. #professionalism #courtesy #collaboration
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Radical Candor
It’s that season again, where confusion abounds, anxiety is high, and frustration is available to all! Nope, not talking about spring…it’s performance evaluation season (cue the applause and jubilation)! In a recent survey I conducted with a school on campus, here were some of the descriptors about performance evaluations: ‘waste of time,’ ‘doesn’t help me
Why it is Important to Embrace the Mess!
My friend is a home contractor. Clients once called him and said, “We need you to fix our kitchen cabinets.” During the walk through, my friend identified that the cabinets aren’t the problem. The problem is underneath the floor. If they want to eliminate the issues going forward, they need to address that and the
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Listening When You Don’t Agree
Many of us know the ‘active listening’ techniques of paraphrasing, asking curious questions, using our body language (e.g., eye contact, nodding, relaxed body posture, etc.) Though we might know what to do, it is amazing how often we don’t actually follow through on these behaviors day to day. Here are several benefits when you demonstrate
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Getting What You Want Through Intentional Communication
Getting to know Nonviolent Communication, Part 1 As a conflict resolution practitioner, I regularly see people reacting toward, withdrawing from, or attacking others when they feel they are in conflict. Then, when the other person responds either poorly, or not at all, to those tactics, the conflict escalates. It is amazing how ineffective these approaches
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Saying No Respectfully, Even In The Face Of Disrespect
Do you get a gut-wrenching feeling when you know you need to tell someone no? Part of the difficulty in saying no, according to William Ury, a negotiation specialist, is “the tension between exercising your power and tending to your relationship.” It’s a delicate balance to manage. Learning how to disagree without being disagreeable can
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Using Mindfulness to Increase our Resilience Quotient: Needed Now More Than Ever
In 2018, I headed to Richmond, Virginia and I steeled myself for what would be an exhausting week of an Ombuds conference. All day meetings, evening catch ups, very little sleep. It wasn’t a stretch to predict getting sick each year, right after the conference. Something was different in my schedule this year, though. I
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My Ego Hates Taking My Own Advice
My ego HATES taking my own advice. To be more accurate, my ego hates taking any advice! Let me start by telling you about my ego. My ego is about 12 feet tall, 12 feet wide, and looks like a very content dragon with small wings and large feet. When it feels threatened, it comes
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