In today’s workplace, effective teamwork is key to success. Yet, a common hurdle stands in our way: defensiveness. This has come up in several conversations during the past week and is worth revisiting. Radical Collaboration by James Tamm and Ronald Luyet dives deep into this challenge, explaining how defensiveness hinders our ability to be open to new information and perspectives. They offer individuals valuable tools to address it, emphasizing how collaboration requires a willingness to learn and grow, which can be stifled by a defensive mindset. Below are the five main ideas from the book to help you manage your own defensiveness and foster a more collaborative environment:
1. Self-Awareness is Key: The first step is acknowledging that defensiveness exists. We all have activators, and the book emphasizes recognizing your own defensive patterns. Are you prone to interrupting or getting overly argumentative? Maybe you withdraw during conflict. Identifying these tells you where to focus your self-management efforts. Strategies include journaling, seeking feedback, and exploring the “why”.
2. Pause and Breathe: The heat of the moment can make clear thinking difficult. Radical Collaboration encourages taking a pause when defensiveness arises. This moment allows you to regain composure and choose a more constructive response. Creating this moment can be as simple as taking a deep breath and slowly taking a sip of water.
3. Reframe the Situation: Defensiveness often stems from feeling attacked. The book suggests reframing the situation. Perhaps the other person isn’t criticizing you personally, but simply offering a different perspective. Consider their viewpoint as an opportunity to learn and grow. Reframing might also identify ways to collaborate in a way that is more manageable and allows for a balance between input and focused decision-making.
4. Focus on Mutual Success: Collaboration thrives when everyone benefits. Shift your focus from being “right” to finding solutions that benefit the team. This approach fosters a more open and trusting environment. By sharing knowledge and working on solutions together, everyone on the team can achieve valuable and effective outcomes.
5. Embrace Open Communication: Honest and open communication is crucial for managing defensiveness. Radical Collaboration highlights the importance of clear, assertive communication. Express your concerns while actively listening to the other person’s perspective. Strategies for embracing open communication include: setting expectations, fostering psychological safety, using technology and tools, encouraging active listening, and promoting transparency.
These five tips can increase self-aware and better equip you to address defensiveness paving the way for more productive collaboration and ultimately, greater success.
Remember: Radical Collaboration offers a wealth of additional insights and exercises. Consider picking up the book for a deeper dive into this important topic.
By: Elizabeth Hill, Associate Director, University of Colorado Ombuds Office and Co-editor of Ombuzz with a lot of help from Gemini