Desperate times call for desperate measures. In an era where people are not willing to listen to each other, alternative strategies are needed. As Maya Angelo said, “conversations create the future. People will forget what you did and said, but never forget how you made them feel.” But what can you do when you feel unheard? When no one seems to listen? Here are some tips curated from keynote speaker Adar Cohen during the International Ombuds Association’s Annual Conference in March 2024 to help you navigate these situations and build better communication:
- Acknowledge the Frustration: It’s true, sometimes people struggle to truly listen. Focus on creating an environment where everyone feels heard and respected.
- Start Fresh: Maybe past interactions have created mistrust. Approach the situation with a clean slate, showing a willingness to listen and build a better dynamic.
- Silence is Golden: Don’t be afraid of quiet moments in a conversation. Silence can indicate reflection and a chance for breakthroughs. Give the conversation room to breathe and see where it leads.
- Identify Your Role: Reflect on how your own actions might be contributing to the communication breakdown. Consider what habits you might have that erode trust and make a commitment to change.
- Speak Your Truth (Generously): Articulate a “Gem Statement” that highlights what you value in the relationship, even during conflict. This promotes empathy and keeps the conversation focused on a positive outcome.
- Seek to Understand: Ask open-ended questions like “What do people get wrong about you?” This can spark curiosity and create deeper connections.
- Focus on How You Want to be Heard: Be clear about how you want your message received. Express your desired outcome and what would make you feel understood.
Remember, these are just tips, and some situations might require a more formal approach. However, by actively listening, showing empathy, and focusing on a positive way forward, you can dramatically improve communication in the workplace.
By Wayne Marriott. MA, Ombuds at the Auckland University of Technology. New Zealand