In her book Insight, Tasha Eurich champions the power of “what” and “how” questions as catalysts for personal growth. While “why” questions can hold value, Eurich argues that they can sometimes lead us down unproductive paths. This blog post explores the strengths of “what” and “how” questions, drawing on Eurich’s research, and examines potential drawbacks of dwelling on “why.”
The Power of “What” and “How”
Actionable Focus: “What” and “how” questions inherently point towards action. “What are my strengths?” or “How can I improve my communication skills?” These questions set the stage for self-discovery and positive change.
Empowerment: By focusing on “what” and “how,” we take ownership of our situations. We explore options and solutions, fostering a sense of control and personal agency.
Solution-Oriented Mindset: These questions guide us towards possibilities. “What can I do differently?” or “How can I approach this situation more effectively?” cultivate a solution-oriented mindset.
Why Questions: Potential Roadblocks
Dwelling on the Past: “Why” questions often delve into the past, which can lead to rumination and feelings of blame or regret.
Limited Perspective: Focusing on “why” might restrict us from considering alternative explanations or future possibilities.
External Locus of Control: “Why did this happen to me?” implies a lack of control over the situation. “What can I learn from this?” empowers us to find meaning and growth.
Generate Defensiveness: “Why” questions can feel accusatory and judgmental.
Finding the Right Balance
Eurich doesn’t advocate eliminating “why” questions entirely. They can be valuable for understanding motivations or root causes. However, the key is to be mindful of when “what” and “how” can be more effective in driving positive change. I would also suggest staying mindful of tone, context and determining whether you have established a rapport that will allow you to ask a “why” question without it feeling accusatory or as if the other person is under interrogation. More on “why” questions next time!
A workplace scenario:
Sarah, a graphic designer, and Michael, a marketing manager, are working on a presentation for a client. Sarah has a creative and visual approach, while Michael prioritizes clarity and data. They disagree on the presentation style, leading to tension and potentially missed deadlines.
Stuck in “Why”: If Sarah and Michael get stuck in “why” questions, the conflict might worsen:
- “Why can’t you understand the importance of strong visuals?” (Sarah, frustrated with Michael’s focus on data)
- “Why are you making this so complicated? It just needs to be clear!” (Michael, dismissive of Sarah’s creativity)
Shifting to Solutions: By using “what” and “how” questions, Sarah and Michael can find a solution that satisfies both their needs:
- What are the key messages we need to get across to the client? (Focuses on common ground)
- How can we create a presentation that is both visually engaging and informative? (Promotes collaboration)
Brainstorming Together: Through these questions, Sarah and Michael can brainstorm solutions:
- How can we integrate data into visuals in a clear and impactful way? (Sarah suggests data visualizations)
- What can we do to ensure the overall flow of the presentation is clear and easy to follow? (Michael suggests a strong narrative structure)
Finding Common Ground: By focusing on “what” and “how” questions, Sarah and Michael can move beyond their differences and create a presentation that meets the client’s needs and showcases both their strengths. They might even:
- How can we split the workload to leverage both our design and communication expertise? (Improves efficiency)
- How can we provide constructive feedback on each other’s work in a respectful way? (Enhances teamwork)
By focusing on solutions and collaboration, Sarah and Michael can use this conflict as an opportunity to improve their working relationship and create a stronger presentation.
Embrace the power of “what” and “how” questions to unlock your potential and navigate challenges with a more empowered and solution-oriented perspective.
By: Elizabeth Hill, Associate Director, University of Colorado Boulder Ombuds Office and Co-editor of Ombuzz with a lot of help from Gemini